Couples Therapy
“Love is something we have to learn and we can make progress with, and that it’s not just an enthusiasm, it’s a skill.”
— Alain de Botton
We live in one of the most challenging times for relationships: Stressors are abundant, nuclear families smaller, and values that surround “partnership” are in a state of flux.
Remaining grounded in the midst of these changes can seem next to impossible. Although separation has become more common, relationships are also stronger than they’ve ever been in the past.
How do we navigate toward the latter? How do we integrate a stronger foundation to build upon? How do we manage the chaos instead of letting it control us? This is what couples therapy offers.
Do any of these sound familiar?
You’re having the same argument over and over again
It feels like you and your partner are speaking a different language
Trust has been lost in the partnership
You’re contemplating a separation or divorce
You feel alone even when your partner is physically present
The sexual spark has fizzled, and you aren’t sure how to reignite it
Every conversation turns into a screaming match
If any of those resonated with you, you’re in the right place. Couples therapy offers a space to explore your relationship: to reignite your friendship, to learn about the deeper meaning behind your arguments, to gain awareness and discover your patterns, to find compromise, to create space for dialogue, and to rekindle attraction.
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Therapy, especially for first-timers, can feel like a big, strange step to take. Book a 15-minute discovery call to get your questions answered and better understand if this is a good fit for your relationship.
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$1,500 HKD Online | $1,800 HKD In-Person
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What approaches do you use? I use the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and the Developmental Model with couples. All three are well-researched and effective in improving relationships and deepening bonds between couples, especially when there is distress.
How many sessions will we need? This depends on the issue bringing you to therapy. I follow the Gottman Method’s structure, which entails an initial assessment period. I will be able to offer a suggested number of sessions after the assessment period.
Can you offer a discount? I offer sliding scale therapy to offer therapy to those with a limited income. I reserve a limited number of spots in my schedule to offer reduced fee sessions. When possible, I will work with you to find a way for therapy to be financially sustainable. Please contact me to discuss further.
The Gottman Method
The Gottman Method of Couples Therapy is based on Dr. John Gottman’s research that began in the 1970s and continues to this day. The research has focused on what makes relationships succeed or fail. From this research, Drs. John and Julie Gottman have created a method of therapy that emphasizes a “nuts and bolts” approach to improving clients’ relationships.
This method is designed to help teach specific tools to deepen friendship and intimacy in your relationship. To help productively manage conflict, couples are taught more effective ways to dialogue, methods to observe one another’s behaviour through a different lens, and how to manage “gridlocked” (or perpetual) issues.
Treatment follows an assessment process that then informs the therapeutic framework and intervention specific to your relationship. The assessment phase will take approximately 3-4 weeks to complete.
Joint session (75-90 minutes)
Partner 1 only (45 minutes)
Partner 2 only (45 minutes)
Joint session (75-90 minutes)
Books for Couples
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
Filled with exercises, this book can help assess your current relationship, and guide you toward repair where necessary. It’s filled with practical information. I ask all couples to purchase this book as a supplement to therapy.
Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson and Sandra Burr
This book allows you to identify and understand patterns, or “dances”, in your relationship. A breath of relief when you realize other couples find themselves in similar conflicts as well.
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel
A book that reminds and helps us bring nuance to a very black and white understanding of infidelity.
A clear stage-by-stage explanation of each emotional phase of infidelity, followed by useful exercises to aid the process of recovery.
I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships by Michael S. Sorensen
Everyone wants to be understood, so how do we do it? This book helps you grasp the most valuable skill for any partnership: validation.
The Course of Love by Alain de Botton
A beautiful story of love after “love”. Botton writes about a couple who go through various stages of partnership, from their first meeting, to children, and life thereafter.
